You know, it never ceases to amaze me how well the Lord knows us and what we need to learn to be better people, to prompt us to repentance, to help us on the path to "Be ye therefore Perfect".
Tonight I have been reading though my Institute lesson for next week, the title of the lesson is " Be ye therefore Perfect", The lesson covers the Beatitudes both in Matthew and in 3Nephi. As I studied and read tonight I realize how prideful I have been. As I studied, so many things came to mind that I don't do.
1.) Blessed are the Poor in Spirit. I don't depend on the Lord the way I should, I get prideful and think, I can do this myself, and I forget to drop to my knees and ask for the Divine guidance, I really do need every single day.
2.) Blessed are they that mourn. I always thought this referred to actual mourning, like when someone dies, but that is not what this refers to. It actually refers to Blessed are those that feel "Godly sorrow" for their sins, that feel such sorrow that they truly repent, such sorrow that after they have repented and received forgiveness, they never return to that sin again.
I repent, but then the next week, there I am again, doing the same things all over again. I really want to feel that "Godly" sorrow, so I never repeat the same bad habits again.
3. )Blessed are the Meek. I let things get to me to much and I get mad. Instead of forgiving, like I know I should, I hold a grudge and don't let things go. Meekness is not Weakness. A Meek person is mighty, and has learned self - mastery. I need to forgive and move on from offenses, or as Elder Bednar taught in his great conference talk, " Choose Not to Take Offense'
4.) Blessed are they that Hunger and Thirst after Righteousness. I have to admit, I don't always hunger and thirst after righteousness. Sometimes, I just want to stay mad, sometimes I don't want to read my scriptures and sometimes I don't even want to pray. I need to want to be righteous so much, that I give up all my selfish times, and think more on what my Heavenly Father thinks about me. and then do what I know is right and swallow my pride.
5.) Blessed are the Pure in Heart. - My heart is anything but pure, I am way to critical of others. I truly need to get the 'beam" out of my eye, so I can see things with a Pure heart and love others as the Savior loves me.
6.) Blessed are the Merciful - Our Salvation rests upon the Mercy we show others. More times then I want to admit, I am not very Merciful to others, especially when they have wounded me. I still sometimes want to get back at them. I don't, but sometimes I want to. I must remember, that I don't know all the struggles in their lives that perhaps have made them act the way they have. I need to work a lot on showing more Mercy, because I know I will be needing a lot of Mercy myself.
7.) Blessed are the Peacemakers - I need to be less contentious and looking for peaceful solutions to problems, instead of arguing and if I can't, I need to learn to walk away, rather then fight.
So many more things I need to work on that sometimes I wonder, Will I ever be perfect?, I know I certainly will not without the help of my Father in Heaven. So I have decided, that instead of feeling overwhelmed at all the things I don't do right, I am going to pick just 1 things and keep working at it until it is not a weakness to me anymore. then I will move on to the next thing.
I am grateful for a loving Father who knows just what I need, what experiences I need to have in my life to overcome my weaknesses. I know I can't do this without His help. maybe someday, as I keep trying to be better, He will say to me "Well done". And I will be worthy to be in His presence. That is the goal, to be worthy to live with Him again someday.